welcome to the page of my humble opinion, please digest it with me
my humble opinion
Who are really the perpetrators of this act?
Well, unfortunately, rape is not written on their faces. To be frank, sometimes they are those people we least expect , those we trust and call our own ! Sad but true!
1. I have heard of a case where the militants who were asked to protect a community were busy taking advantage of vulnerable women in that community without their consent.
2. A case where the child’s step father turned his step daughter into a sex toy
3. A case where a house help defiled the little boy they were meant to take care of
4. A case of a father and his son constantly molesting their house help till she died… which went viral in Nigeria
5. A case of a madam sexually assaulting her house boy
6. A case of a neighbor/ best friend sexually assaulting his neighbor’s child
7. A case where friends in school / cults gang rapping their targets, and the list continues .
Nevertheless, I told you that of all the people that were raped, some will speak up while the rest will be dying silently .
Now let’s talk a little about those who reported.
A. Some reported and their families took up the case and made sure those who were behind it were brought to book
B. While some where advised by the people they reported to, to keep mute and shove it under the carpet.
Now, those in group A who actually came out and made their rape case public were still criticized by same public that are blaming the victims who do not want to speak up! Then I ask ; Do you really think that being very judgmental to the victims instead of looking for a way to bring the perpetrators to book will actually make the victims ever want to speak up? But we have also failed to understand that the more we encourage them to speak up the more we learn and restrategize.
Why would you blame their outfit ?
I have seen many people blame the victims for the clothes they wear!
And I wonder why people will think like that!!! 200 years ago, Africa was still naive!!! No clothes , no education, the only religion we knew was our traditional religion, yet nobody sexually molested anybody because of the fear of being buried alive!!! They were able to coexist happily with very little crime rate!
In my humble opinion, nothing should be considered an invitation to rape because your body is your body and no body else’s! We are busy blaming the victims of dressing half naked forgetting that we should be blaming the perpetrators of no self control!!!
What about the little babies that they defile, the nuns, mad women, young boys , elderly women and even corpses!!! Should we blame it on their indecent dressings too?
Have you ever thought of the psychological implications of rape and what the victims suffer! Well if you have not, I’ll like to list some here for you to digest.
The effects of rape on victims
Post traumatic stress disorder- the victim will be feeling severe stress and anxiety .
Sexually transmitted diseases .
Sleep disorders and flashbacks of the rape incident as if it was happening again .
Feeling of defeat .
These and more are what the victims experiences thereby making it more difficult for them to speak up.
Please let us join hands together and see that we condemn rape in all ramifications by bringing the culprits to book and making sure that they serve a well deserved punishment. With that, we’ll be reducing the number of rape cases and in no time, such devilish act will be a history.
Some of the ways we can help in stopping this act are
1. By making sure we do not blame the victims when they run to us to complain, by so doing it will make us want to investigate on the matter , then calling the culprit out for judgement
2. Do not laugh while listening to her rape story. This could actually make her to stop telling you the story and also make her not to speak up anymore because of the fear of being laughed at
3. At least try and believe their story, it will motivate them to tell another person.
4. Sensitize your children about the implications of raping anyone and advice them to expose any of their friends who have the propensity to rape for canceling.
5. The government should also pass a very stiff punishment for anyone who rapes irrespective of the person’s status in the society.
6. The NGO and other relevant authorities should not concentrate only on advocacy for protection of girl-child against rape but also champion campaign for male child to know that he has no RIGHT to abuse any girl sexually.
If we really want to make tomorrow great, we all have to put in effort to make it happen….Maybe you have never been raped but helping to stop this by speaking out for other people and finding justice for them will help make a better tomorrow… With that, you’ll be sure that your own children will be safe.
Please leave your comment, let’s hear your own humble opinion on this issue.
A woman’s potentials
I also have been to some countries in Europe and America and have actually seen at which esteem they hold their women and how actually they have contributed to the growth of their countries. Then, I asked myself why have we chosen to adopt the idea of limiting the growth of women in our own society. Where exactly did we get the idea from? Is it all about securing the family inheritance? Or is there more to this that I do not know? I was meant to believe that when one dies, judgement follows… and all which you have acquired while on earth will be in vain. What actually matters is how you live your life on earth and how you actually handle the family which was given to you by God. Moreover, all these things start from home because if we all should treat our children with equal love irrespective of the gender, it will exactly reflect in our society. There’s a popular Ghanaian adage that has existed long before i was born, which says “ if you educate a man you educate an individual but if you educate a woman you educate a nation”.
In Africa, we actually were meant to believe that a woman is the weaker sex and that being married to a man validates her existence as a responsible woman but asides from MARRIAGE, no matter your qualification and level of achievements, you hold no ground in the society. This stigma has lingered long enough to be dealt with and trashed but it’s quite unfortunate that even religion is not making the matter any easier for the female folks.
However, taking a case scenario for instance; there is this family of 4 who lives somewhere in the east, the man married this lady when she was 24yrs old just immediately after her university education. Though the man provides all for the woman but restricts her from neither practicing her profession nor even starting up a business, but all these were nothing to the lady because she felt that it was the man’s best way of expressing his extreme love for her… Till after so many years, when the children were about to enter the university, the husband insisted that his daughters will not go to the university because it’s more like a waste of resources. Nevertheless, the lady was so devastated but she couldn’t help the situation knowing fully well that she didn’t have the financial capability to see her daughters through school.
Funny enough, most African men still nature that mentality that it’s a waste of resources to see a female child through school, but you know what? It is absolutely not their fault!!! This belief has been there for so long. In fact, it is actually as old as our tradition. The incentive of this book is not to encourage disobedience in homes concerning this issue, but to look at the issue in a positive way and see reasons to believe that women can be more useful to the society than just being house wives who contribute little or nothing to the society. Trust me, your aptitudes are more than you can imagine.
THE GIRL CHILD
Let me tell you a story. This particular story is more like a tradition in the Northern part of Nigeria. There is a certain man in the North who married 5 wives, the fifth wife came in when she was just 13 years old and gave birth to two beautiful girls… This lady was of cause deprived of teenage life but that wasn’t the most painful part. Her husband is a poor farmer who borrows money at random because he can’t afford to take care of his polygamous family. The most pathetic part is that the man rejoices whenever any of his female child is about to enter puberty. One day the man summoned his 5th wife and told her that a man is coming for her first daughter’s hand in marriage, and the wife replied “ but why my husband?’’ You know so well that she just turned 11 and yet to finish her primary education. The husband nodded in agreement and said, “this daughter of mine in question, is she not the one that started seeing her period two months ago”. The wife became speechless because she knew for sure that their tradition didn’t frown at it and because she had no will power to stop or make the husband see reasons not to give her daughter out in marriage at that early stage, so she sadly gave in to the husband’s decision. As if it wasn’t bad enough, she was given out to a 73 years old man in marriage at the age of 11. This again explains why the society sees the girl child as nothing but a vessel for reproduction. But before I continue, I know you must have come across the word pedophilia. Do you think that it’s what the man’s culture is promoting? Well I think so too. And I do not care how it’s being sliced but we have to work hand in hand to see that such is abolished.
We all know that Africa has a lot of despicable traditions that have long been abolished, like killing of twins and female genital mutilation which we all know has more disadvantage and little or no advantage. Thanks to civilization. Though some traditions still practice it but at least the society frowns at it now. At least we are heading somewhere, aren’t we?
Please and please! May we encourage and train our female children to be the best version of themselves, have the freedom of self-will and understand that the sky is just a starting point for them when it comes to pursuing excellence.